FUCK YEAH DYLAN MORAN

March 21
“ So here are some foolproof recipes for those of you who understand the true function of food.
Bean Treat: Gingerly pour four fluid oz of beans or something into a jug. Cry. Eat the beans from the jug and pour the rest from the can down your throat. N.B. These taste better if they belong to somebody else in your house.
Pain au Dunk: Fists of bread, rent from the loaf and dunked into anything runnier than bread. Should eat at least six of these because…you should. Don’t toast the bread. Toast is cookery. Dylan Moran
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April 23
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“ The kind of place you live in pulses a huge current into your sea of consciousness; what I’m saying is that, statistically, you are far more likely to shout at the nine o’clock news if you cook and pee in the same room. Dylan Moran
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“ Who wants to touch their toes anyway? I mean, whatya gonna do down there?
April 21
“ First, I awoke as usual at the crack of noon with no unlit cigarettes in my mouth. So I had to get up. Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran Interviewed on the 7:30 Report
April 20
chris-o: “What’s this? Where are the turrets? It’s rubbish!” (via dailyobsession & semisetadrift)

chris-o:

“What’s this? Where are the turrets? It’s rubbish!”

(via dailyobsession & semisetadrift)

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“ And its errr, and the other thing, I am a man, and erm, well either that or a woman who’s really let herself go. And its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures. I mean there….Men have a very bad image in the female media, Dylan Moran during standup. I like his awkward transitions from one joke to another. (via pspssst)
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“ these [lofts] have been converted, meaning they took out the sewing machines when child labour became illegal. People then fill these large spaces with interesting conversation pieces found in markets, such as old sewing machines Dylan Moran